So Far...

I'm trying not to be a Negative Nancy, but so far, things have been far from sunshine and roses in New Jersey. Everything went fairly well on the journey- my flight was in early, security was no problem, I got the bus into Manhattan, found my way to Penn Station, and got my train to New Jersey. By the time I got on the train, I was absolutely exhausted. Beyond exhausted. I was 5 hours ahead and I'd been up since 5am, which made that 12 midnight NJ time. So I wasn't feeling too great when I was faced with an altercation with an obnoxious guy on the train who told me I looked more like I should be lounging on the beach than being a lifeguard (good old chauvinism...) and despite me having been nothing but pleasant, he told me I had to "take off my attitude." Oh and then went on to criticise England and mock my accent. Gee, thanks.
There was a lovely man on the train, however, who helped me with my luggage and helped me find a taxi to Seaside Heights, and my taxi driver was so nice and we had a lovely talk. I even managed to find Nick who got me my keys for my apartment. Which was where everything unraveled.
I knew I'd be living in a house of international students, I knew that, what I didn't know was that they would all know each other (and two that didn't came together so they had each other), and would all speak languages other than English all the time. They also don't speak very good English and I find it incredibly hard to communicate with them, especially when I'm so tired. I feel like this is just a house that I stay in. I feel so uncomfortable and alone. I do have my own room though, which I wasn't expecting, and that's a huge plus, and also, as you can see, we have internet set up which was something I was worried about.
I spent last night walking up to the arcade, calling my dad and crying my eyes out. I know things will get better and I will make friends, but right now I feel alone in a new place and completely isolated. I'm scared I won't make any friends and that I will just hate this experience and feel like I've made a huge mistake. This was supposed to be an adventure and right now it just feels like a horrible decision. I'm so homesick it's unbelievable. I phoned my dad half a dozen times yesterday and I just wish I was back home where I never feel this lonely. I don't know where anything is yet and I don't know my way around the area and I just feel so uncomfortable in this house.
I know things will get better. I have my lifeguard training today and I know I'll make friends soon and I'll know my way around, and I'll know where I can get proper food that isn't fried or from the 7-11. But right now, I just feel rubbish. I'm hurt by having my accent mocked, to the point where I'm scared to speak to anyone because I feel like such an outsider and I just keep envisioning spending hours alone in my room in a house that I don't feel I belong in.
And I know when I first came to Minnesota my dad got the exact same phonecall of "I think I've made a mistake" and everything was fine and I loved it after a few days.
But right now, I just want to go home.