Confessions

• I really, really hate it when Phil goes away and it makes me feel super co-dependent and also like a really bad feminist which makes me sad.
• Sometimes when Phil goes away I don't do the washing up for two days and consider eating crisps and dip for dinner.
• Sometimes I really, really don't want to go for a run.
• Sometimes it even makes me question why I'm training for a marathon in the first place.
• I have a really bad time relaxing because I have this horrible idea of my life slipping away while I'm incessantly checking Facebook or watching TV.
• I hate vacuuming and if Phil isn't here I definitely don't do it
• I worry that people think I'm boring because I like early nights and not going out.
• I worry that I try too hard.
• I worry that while I'm trying to do the right thing and do things like give blood and train for a marathon and go to the library every day that people think I'm holier-than-thou. I do these things because they make me happy, not to show off. I actually really wish I could be more relaxed and could stop putting pressure on myself to do certain things and be a certain way.
• I don't always like how Type A I am.
• I worry that I don't clean my flat as much as I should. I worry that there's some cleaning somewhere that I've forgotten to do and one day I'm going to find a huge pile of mould/ants/dust.
• I don't really have any idea what I'm doing a lot of the time, and I don't really know when I woke up and I was suddenly 25 and a grown up.
• I post pictures of my meals and my runs and my workouts to Instagram so it looks like I have my life together. 
• I worry about the future all the live-long day.
• People are often really impressed with my to-do lists and my meal planning and my list of outgoing expenses each month, but the reality is I'm constantly anxious and writing lists and trying to keep on top of things is how I cope.
• I wrote this because I really wanted a blog post with outfit photos but I haven't taken any for weeks and these days I pretty much live in jeans and tshirts and I'm kind of okay with that.
• I want to be more honest on my blog but I'm scared of being so vulnerable.